Veterans Caregiver Support Finding Community Empowerment

Now for those of you who don't know who Tori is, you're probably going to know her husband, Staff Sergeant John Shannon, if you remember the 2007 Walter Reed scandal. John was the guy who really stepped out on a limb and spoke on behalf of a lot of warfighters during that scandal. If you think back, you'll remember him because he has got, honestly, an iconic position in the whole scandal when he brought everything to light. He was the guy with the one eye patch. It had his purple heart on it. He spoke before Congress in a very, very tight uniform. He represented the army very, very well. He spoke clearly, concisely. He's a true crusader. God bless Staff Sergeant John Shannon for doing that. And now Tori, she's out there as an advocate in the warfighter community. She runs a blog that is extremely popular and she's got the feedback. She's also John's caregiver in the present day. Now, Tori, how are you doing this evening? I am doing great, Boone. Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure to be here to speak to the community about caregivers and answer any questions. Well, first off, I have to apologize to you. You've been on the show before, but I didn't get a chance to air that segment or we didn't get a chance to finish the interview. I wanted to have you back. I know you've got a big voice out there. You're making things happen. You don't exactly pull the reins back. You let it fly and you tell it like it is in a very, very direct manner. Tell us from what you're First of all, what's the name of your blog, and then what is the feedback you're getting from caregivers about the program? Sure. My blog is at TorreyShannon.com, and that's P-O-R-R-E-Y, Shannon, just like the normal first name, S-A-J-N-N-O-N, TorreyShannon.com. And I opened a blog last summer, and it has been great. quite a reaction from the caregiver community and the warfighter community in general. I talk about everyday life issues that affect wounded warriors and their caregivers. And my motto is, one voice makes a difference for many. So I have gotten some wonderful feedback. Probably the most resounding thing that I hear from caregivers is I'm not alone. They always feel like they're so isolated and that their struggles are unique. And they come to my blog and they find out, oh my goodness, there's somebody that's been there and done that and likely has the answers or can get the answers for them. Right. So the feedback that I get from caregivers in general has been very positive. There's a sense of family and camaraderie that, you know, you find in the military, but it transfers into the caregiver community. And it's a wonderful thing that we can all share information and empower one another and and the caregiver program that the first day of application was back in May 9, 2011 and the VA has made some great strides in improving the caregiver program. They're interested in getting feedback. I've constantly had a direct line with the powers that be that run this program in DC and they are looking to improve the program or streamline it and make it work. So I think that when we all use our voice and communicate with each other, whether it be through my blog or through your show or any other I think that we are really being heard. Outstanding. That doesn't mean our thanks in the system, but that's how we fix it. That's how we fix it is by sharing and empowering. You know what? You couldn't have said it better right there. Sharing and empowering. I haven't gotten any negative feedback yet from the caregiver program. Tori, thanks for coming on the show. Everybody out there, go to ToriShannon.com. Check out the blog. And remember, don't go there to bash warfighters because she'll chew you up and spit you out. If you're not going to be proactive, just don't even show up. Thanks for coming on the show, Tori. Thank you, Bill. and it's been a pleasure. Across the board, it seems like we've got younger caregivers like Samantha, who's really getting tied in and providing, getting provided mentorship from some of the other ladies, some of the other caregivers that are a little bit older, like Patty Catter, who runs an entire organization. We've got Tori Shannon out there who runs the blog. And the major theme is about getting connected with other caregivers and removing that sense of isolation. We've got right now my wife, Melissa Luke Cutler, very, very proactive, very much of an advocate inside the caregiver community. And I just want to ask, honey, what is it like within that community? I understand the major theme is getting connected. What kind of changes have you seen over the last, say, six months and then nine months? Well, in the community itself, you know, they're caregivers. They're people who have stepped up and made a life out of taking care of somebody they love. That takes a certain kind of person. And what I've noticed is these people are willing to step up and help not just the person they love that has been war injured, but also to reach out and take care of each other. So we've built this network of strong relationships, information, support, you know, just it can be found on Facebook or anywhere. Right. How is it growing? Well, I think that there's a lot of the veterans themselves who are a little leery about the program, afraid to let the VA in their home. Right. And I see some of that going away. I see some of the veterans who are involved in the program speaking out and quelling a lot of those veterans and helping them understand better what the program's about. I see the wives finding each other. Now, there are female wounded, combat injured, but it is generally, it's very rare we find a male out there. We have a couple in our group. It's generally the wives, our girlfriends, and mothers. But we find each other, and if we We run in, especially, you know, I've seen this program change the lives of so many people. They're destituted because a lot of times the wife can no longer work. Right. She's really staying at home. It's more than just being a stay-at-home wife, stay-at-home mom. That warfighter needs that care. And it's as simple as, you know, are they going to forget to turn off the stove? Are they going to miss, you know, a medication time? And for those guys with TBI, yes, you can set up reminders and alarms and all this other stuff. But as quick as that alarm goes off is as quick as you'll forget forget the alarm went off to take your medication. So I say out there how important the caregiver is for even the simplest of things like, hey, honey, here's your medication and I'm going to stand here and watch you take it because if you don't, it just starts this downhill slide. So it's simple things and it's very, very difficult things. And, you know, finding this connection with each other, reducing the paranoia that the caregiver program is some sort of big brother program because they're going to come to your house. All these things I see as being very, very positive and proactive. Now, inside the caregiver community, when you You're getting this feedback. How have you seen, I mean, let's take, you were there when Samantha, 22 years old, two babies, caregiver to her husband. You were there when she came into it. You've been designated as her mentor now. How have you seen this, the mentorship between caregivers help? I mean, what specifically have you seen with her? Well, Samantha is a natural leader and being that she's young and, you know, just first, this is her first few years of experience as a mother and new experiences, a wife right and you know just out of her teen years a new experience with the combat injuries that many marriages you know have a lot of difficulties adjusting to she she is a leader in the community in reaching out to other people already but she had a lot of trouble you know just because she has such a heavy load on her and it wasn't that she doesn't have the right you know i mean you you hear her she's got the right idea about everything she's got the right concept where where Where did she start, though? I mean, let's get a contrast, compare contrast. Where did she start out? Where was her mind? What did she need? What was she not getting? And where is it now? Because now we see a very capable person able to articulate, you know, the proactive points of the program and what she's getting and how she's being connected. What was it like when she came in? I mean, just tell me what she was like then and what she's now. How has she grown? Well, you know, she has mountains of paperwork. She doesn't have support. This is all in the beginning. None of these things. Now that she has support, and contact. We have just about daily contact. You know, she is a positive influence for me too. So I encourage her to write. She's got a gift for writing. And, you know, we take the opportunity to just lift each other up and support each other. Samantha has grown from somebody entering a world that's difficult for somebody my age to enter. And with the help of all of the people around her and her own, you know, ability to adapt, she's a leader in the community now. It's a big difference. So is it fair to say that originally when she first came into the program, she was somewhat lost, disconnected, and now she's found a sense of empowerment. She's coming to her own. So she's more capable to handle her situation because of the caregiver program. Definitely. Outstanding. This is Tipping Point Boone Cutler. Remember, every warfighter needs two things to survive in any operational environment. That's a battle buddy and a mission. All the way. Make it happen.