Build Rapport Fast The 3 Cups Of Tea Method

be normal. Just be normal. Just be normal. You said something about establishing rapport. And I think what you're saying is that, that you establish rapport so that you can just have a normal conversation. Can you give some examples of how you do that in a situation, especially where people aren't as inclined to talk or to want to be open? How do you bridge that gap? Okay. We're talking technique. Okay. If you're, first of all, be a good listener. OK, find out where somebody else is coming from and don't don't don't demonize them for something they tell you. And just be a good listener and and and ask them to expand on the things that they're talking about. Let them talk. Get that out there, you know, and and be be affirming. You know, the other thing that I think is important as a as a rule is don't try and get everything out in one sentence or one setting. You know, when you're meeting somebody new, you see this, you know, people start talking. Next thing you know, somebody just opens up the floodgates and they're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And usually people kind of cringe because the intensity is too much and they don't know you well enough to accept that type of intensity. So then they avoid you. So a better way to do it is remember three cups of tea. Okay. When you sit down with somebody for the first time, that's your first cup of tea. That's your opportunity to get to know about them. The second cup of tea. Now you start to know about their family, how they spend their time, where they grew up. Now they start to listen to you because now it's the second meeting. Now they're listening to you and you say, you talk about yourself, you humanize yourself to that person. Be human. Let them humanize themselves to you. Then when you sit down for that third cup of tea, now you're talking, let's say a cup of tea takes 45 minutes. So now you've spent an hour and a half with that person. You're into that third cup of tea. And now you can start to talk about things that, and you'll, and you'll know how far you can take it. But now you can just start talking, talking about things. You're already human to that person. You've established rapport. You didn't try and cram something down their, their throat in the first 10 minutes you met them. They like you being likable is a huge thing when it comes to establishing rapport. And then now they're going to listen. Now they're ready to receive what you have to say. So take your time, be poised, be deliberate, be a good listener and be likable. It's that simple. Yeah, that's good. That's good. I'm taking mental notes here. I can be very intense. I know that for sure. And I think a lot of my audience can too. And this is a good reminder for me too, because, you know, We spend so much time in this world and we spend time, you know, especially on social media, you're kind of siloed sometimes with like-minded people. And it's easy to assume that either everybody thinks the way you do or that they want to know. And so this is a great reminder for me just to understand that not everybody's even coming into a situation with curiosity. And, and also one thing that I try to think about too, is that people are really busy and they're, they're working, they've got, you know, families and jobs and obligations that keep them from being dialed in as much as maybe, maybe I am because it's my job. to be dialed in and to pay attention. So I do have to remember that sometimes. And I try to ask questions when I'm out in public, like, did you know about such and such? And did you know about this? Have you heard about this before? And a lot of times I get people, they just, they don't know. They have no idea. They haven't heard about it or a lot. And believe it or not, there's a lot of people that still don't even know who General Flynn is. And because to me, it's a household name, but it's not a household name to everybody. Just like Russiagate, to me, it's just like everybody should know about that, but they don't. And the word hasn't even crossed their minds. And so that's something that I have to remind myself a lot. And I hope that helps. Yeah, you have to start with what you have in common with that person. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's very important to start with what you have in common. And Don't try and don't try and message or recruit. Just try and make a friend. Like, what would you do to make a friend? And I tell guys out there, well, I guess it's different now, but, you know, guys who are a little bit older, it would be like, do you remember what it was like before you were married? You were young and you had to meet a girl. Remember how you acted? You were ingratiating. You were polite. You were smiling. You were nice. You weren't trying to, you know, you're trying to find a common ground and then work from there. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. It's there's really no difference. So find the common ground and then work from there. And don't go, don't go so fast. Like I said, it's about being likable. And, you know, your whole point, you know, you're going to spend a little bit of effort even getting to that first cup of tea.