Friendships Tested How Trauma Beliefs Can Divide Us

you're not going to get them to that place. And someone else maybe, maybe could intervene, but the, you know, whatever you say, isn't going to matter. And that's the sad part, you know, I've got a real good friend of mine, a similar situation for a long time, done events together and everything. And I don't, I really don't know what happened, but I, I get a message from a, common friend of ours. So, Hey, you got to check on someone there. So-and-so there's a, there's a problem. What's the problem? Oh, they think that you are advocating for this, that, and the other thing. Well, long story short, he had gone over to Ukraine and he was traveling around Ukraine as part of a show that he was doing. So he got to really know Ukrainian people and, and, and took on their cause. And that became, that influenced him obviously. And it would anybody. I don't care what side of, whatever battle you're on, if you're with the people that are, you know, going through that suffering, you bond, there's trauma bonding. Right. And so, and this guy was an army veteran. And so it was one of those things that we had a common bond around, you know, veteran advocacy and everything else. And then he had, he had taken off and went to go to the research for the show. And then he had trauma bonded with these folks. And in, in his mind, he started creating situation where I was opposing him. I was opposing something that he believes so strongly in. And it was very personal. And we've talked since then. We've kind of worked some things through, but we really need to go spend some bro time together to get it worked out. And I'm very happy for the fact that we still do communicate, but you know, we didn't communicate for six, eight months, maybe longer. And I just figured he was off doing his thing and I was off doing my thing and we'll be connected at some point. But so these things happen and all sides, I'm not talking to anybody's personal side, but if you value somebody, you gotta dial it down, assess what the frame of reference is, show a little empathy, show a little respect. And then that hopefully if that person is in that, hopefully they're in the state of mind that they can respond the same way, but you want to model and mentor the behavior that you want to see coming at you. So model, mentor that. And that helps a lot. So I would encourage a friend to realize that the kind of bits and pieces of what went on was this person is probably being inundated with messages. And they're They're emotional about it. They're not using tech, good tech hygiene, good tech discipline. And now there's a casualty involved. And as much as we're talking about your friend, I'm talking to everybody in your audience. How many people have you done that to? How many people have you done that? How many people have done that to you?